I feel so.....

I feel very tired already. Because i feel that no matter how hard i tried to tell you, to explain, you just don't get it.

I may not show that i look irritate, look upset but does not mean i don't feel anything at all. I just feel that it's quite sad that things ended this way even though i try my best to make it end as well as possible. But it didn't work work. It backfired instead.

Fine, it's okay you hate me now. You can say whatever you want but you shouldn't say that I'm not serious in this. I think a lot before i come to this decision. How do you think i would feel? Do you think it's fair that i drag this trial on and hurt you and i more later? How can you say that I'm not serious? How can you even say that? i tried my best to tell you about the problems. I tried my hardest to explain.

But you just don't get it. Do you think it's easy for me? Let's swap roles then. Why don't you be me and i be you? Try it.

Communication problem is not a small thing. If you cant really get the message of what each other is saying..then what's the point?

And it's not about language! It's never about the language. I don't condemn you for your language. Why do you think I'll speak to you in Chinese? Because i know you'll be more comfortable using Chinese to communicate. That's why i used Chinese even though I'm not very fluent in it but i still use it because it makes the communication easier for the both of us. Communication is both ways! If it's one way working then it will never work out.

Well...I'm sorry to say i come from a English speaking family who don't know a damn written Chinese word. I'm sorry for that okay! But even if i come from a English speaking background do you think i would STOOP SO DAMN LOW TO CONDEMN YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR ENGLISH?! If i were to condemn, would i tell you what's wrong with your outline and wait for you to change it? If i were soooo concern i would have just take it and correct it myself without telling you! And why would i want a break up because of this damn thing?! How is it fair for me?

I need space. I told you I'll give you space and you'll give me space. We agreed on this. I can understand that you are being concern...i know you care. Okay i apologize, it's my problem because i feel that when a concern becomes too much, i cant handle.

You said i didn't tell you about the mistake. Okay, that is my mistake. But I want to. In fact i want to tell you right in the face. But I'm not you who can just say out what you don't like. To me, I cant do that. How would you feel if i keep telling you cant do this, you cant do that? Oh well, I will tolerate you. I will tolerate you until i caused myself pain. But do you know that? Obviously you don't. Because you don't understand me at all.

Can you imagine all this "you are not serious, you are just giving excuses" coming out from you who said that u liked me. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT AM I FEELING NOW?

How can you say like tat? What is this? I'm asking you. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Up to this point i got nothing to say anymore. In fact i don't know what to say at all because almost everything i said had somehow been rejected, misinterpreted and backfired.

I am seriously saddened by how things ended.