Hare (はれ) kumori (くもり) Ame (あめ）

The weather these days have been quite temperamental, making changes according to its mood swings.

Sometimes the rain pours like never ending tears.
Sometimes the thunder and lightning are murderous.
Sometimes the clouds are too dominant, occupying most territories in the sky.
Sometimes the sun is too warm to be approachable.
Sometimes the weather just smiled during the day but shed tears during the night.

Sometimes the weather is just...just right and you felt like u really belong there.

Sora (そら）

A endless blue sky.

A flower.

A patch of soil.

A bee.

***

Once upon a time, when the flower was a small little bud, it used to look up at the sky and gave a very friendly cute smile. The sky was happy too as it has been watching over the flower ever since it was a small seed. The patch of soil that the flower was living on was feeling happy too. Just like the sky, the soil had been there long before this little flower was planted.

As seconds turn into minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, days into weeks, the little flower finally bloomed to the fullest. The sky was extremely happy yet sad at the same time. The soil on the other hand was feeling proud.

***

"How long has it been?" The sky wondered to itself. "When was the last time little flower smiled at me?"

The sky asked the same question to the soil but the soil hardly pay it any attention. The sky then ask the little flower aloud but was interrupted by the buzzing sound of little yellow bees. The sky wanted to protect the flower but couldn't do so as the distance was too great between them. To its horror, the little flower actually let the bee absorb its nectar. Worst still, the soil seem to support it as well.

The sky was undeniably upset.

Then an heavy thunderstorm came. The bee hid in the flower for safety, while the little flower remain vigilant to the soil. The soil returned the same gesture to the little flower. As the rain pours, the three of them look expectantly at the sky.

The sky was puzzled.

After the rain was over, the sky smiled at them. But they aren't being friendly. Instead of speaking nicely, they threw tantrums at the sky.

The sky was angry and hurt. But it couldn't do anything as it couldn't even reach them let alone comfort them. It couldn't control the sun nor it could make the rain disappear. It was just a sky. And now it cant even be itself?

Where is the logic?

Yes, the sky can watch over anything, everything at anytime or anywhere. But how much can one sky focus on? It cant be there because you simply wish for it. It cant be focusing on one thing when there are so many things under it.

The sky then looked at the flower, bee and soil. They are playing happily together.

The sky sighed. What is it going to do? What's there to change? After all its stereotypical job was to watch over everything.

As the sun comes out, the sky thought of an idea. If only it could blend according to the sun and the moon then it can be something different.

But what about the little flower and the soil?

The sky sighed again.

"But this is my life" the sky thought to itself. "But that is also my duty."

And so nowadays in the mornings, the sky tried to blend in with the enviroment with the help of the sun. In the morning, a shade of pink and purpleish sky can be seen. However, as the day slowly goes by, the sky changes to another colour accordingly.

The sky may not fully escape from its duty but at least its still have the freedom to do what it wishes and to be who it wants to be.

The End.

today ah

Last night had a sumptuous dinner at tenji with hc and fes, sc and eugene, evelyn and roy. So full of raw fish. Yum Yum.

Slept late last nite...

Woke up late today...

Had nasi lemak for breakfast and lunch

.........

.........

.........

And have been siting in front of my com doing work since i woke up

(=_=)

It's a holiday where i'm suppose to enjoy myself after streanous weeks of assignments and mid terms. Nevermind, if it's MY work, then i dont mind spending the whole day to finish it.

what i should not be doing is to.....

cover up some stupid part where that *beep* person *beep beep beep beeeeeeeeeep*

Cis!

Towards a clear blue sky

i guess you can call it an empty emotion

Detached.
Try to detach.
Void all emotions.
Embrace neutralism.
Live in the gray world
- a place where black and white are not separated

They didn't reject me.
They are kind enough to keep me there.
Should i say that I'm lucky?
Should i think that i am fortunate enough?
Did i betray anybody by accepting it in the first place?
She told me it was okay.
I felt her sincerity like she really meant it.
But to another, i don't feel anything from her. Probably she thinks that i shouldn't accept because that chance was meant to be theirs not mine.
And by doing so, i stole their rightful chance.

I know what it's like to be a burden.
I understand what it's like to be in a way.
I tasted what it's like to be not needed.
I do know what it's like to be ignored.
I know i shouldn't think like this.
I know i should wake up and think positively.
But do you think i want to think like that?
Do you think i want to compare myself all the time?
How would you feel if you are being compared from primary school till secondary school? Or even in tuition or curriculum activities? How would you feel if you're being reminded even when you do not want to listen to any of that?

i was wrong, i still am even now

i am wrong and i still am.
Without realizing it, i have already in the process of becoming who i hate.
I hope i can still stop these changes.
And become a whole new person within.
Last week make me realized what is wrong and what is still wrong.
Slowly, i know i can still make a difference.

ignorance is bliss

Memang. Now that i truly experienced it, it's really really true in some ways.
At least you be happier knowing nothing than having to know everything.




Enough said.

She and her

She and her.

Whenever i see them together, i feel like an outcast. Like I'm not allowed to step into their territory. Nor i can interfere with their relationship. So i pretend that i don't really care, pretend not knowing anything, pretend to be okay with it.

Cause what's the point of me having to know about all these things? Is not like they will share it with me. What they know of, i don't know. What i know of, they don't.

She.

I don't really know much about her. Because the gap between us is too great. By the time, i entered primary school, she was already in secondary school. By the time i entered secondary school she was already graduating. So in truth, i don't really know her that well. All i know that she cries easily.

Her.

Her gap is smaller compared to she. So therefore, i feel as thought i'm closer to her. Her grades are good and she always have a lot of friends. I bet she always finds me a nuisance because i always trouble her, getting her late to school or a function.

But she and her always get along well. As far as i see, there is no argument or slight disagreement between them. Even if there is, it is just like a joke between them. Whenever they are together they are laughter and smiling faces. Whenever i'm with them, i just didn't feel right. It was as though i am not meant to be there. They have a lot of friends that both of them knows but i know only a slightest bit of their friends. That is if i did follow them out though.

They can always make my mother laugh while i made her cry and stuff. They can always make her happy while i made her frown. They can always make the situation more cheerful and relaxed while i always made it tense.

During annual dinner, people will often ask them about medicine and health problems while i be just a decoration in that event.

Most people remembers their names, but they forgotten mine.

My mum said something to me which i believe she will never say it to them.

I don't deny that I'm envy, jealous and sometimes hates them because no matter what i do, i just cant be better than them. I'm trying to catch up with them but it seems like it's not possible at all. I'm angry and hate myself for being so forgettable. Can someone explain to me why is it always like that? Why am i like that?

oh shit, i'm losing it...

can someone help me please?

it's the same

It's the same
It's the same same thing
At first i thought is the generation gap.
Now i'm sure.
It's not about whether you are related by blood.
It's about who you are.
10 years ago...
I feel that I'm alone...
Now ten years later...
I feel pretty much the same.

it's gonna be a busy busy busy week

It's going to be super-duper-busy-until-i-will-actually-becomes-zombie. No doubt about it.

Haiya if only our shooting week is on week 8 then we don't have to be sandwiched in between midterms and deadlines.

Anyway will start shooting tomorrow and hopefully everything goes well.





Okay, don't give me that look, i know it's a super short post. But but but i don't have time already lah...have to continue with my assignments at the same time reading notes. Talk about multitasking...hmmmm....

I remember the days of summer
We were so close together
You were humming the songs of silence
Sweetly plucking the harp of wind

Every moment was sacred and mystic
We were near to the shore of eternity
The days are gone, and will never come back

You were a half of me...long time ago

Life can never be perfect without you
But I'm still on my way to the future
For I remember your sweet song in my mind

To the lost horizon, I'm calling your name
Again and again

Though the night is so dark
A new dawn is so close to me
Sun will come and shine on all seeds of hope
Bud and bloom...

I remember the days of winter
You were sitting beside me
All alone in the shuttered places
We were waiting for thawing day

Every moment was sacred and mystic
We were hoping the night was eternal
The days are gone, and so far away
I'm still singing your sweet song for long
Long windy nights...

Xenosaga II Movie Scene Soundtrack

workload list

1. screenplay writing (90% complete)
   
2. short film production ( shooting week haven start)
3. inter ad ( haven start)
4. multimedia broadcasting ( computer stuffs - wip, report - untouched)
5. crm second assignment (untouched)
6. media planning (wip)
7. story writing competition (wip)
8. 3 midterms to go

T.T

No rest day meh?

Sit and calm down

I need to sit down and stay calm. Noooo, I'm not physically moving around. But i guess my emotions can say that much. It's like a whirlpool in there plus with the additional thunder and lightning and of course boundless worries. I feel like i have a washing machine fixed inside of my body.

(=_=)

Nah, I'm not pacing around the house worrying bout my mid term tomorrow. In fact, I'm more anxious of my internship. Yeah, yeah i know. I've been speaking of this issue for almost 2 weeks now. Cant really help it though. It stays and it's really really persistent and consistent.

I guess it's about time that i control myself a bit. Been getting more and more depressed each day. Can you imagine of sending out emails for a few days but there is no replies? Or that you friend actually send later than you and managed to get it first? I been wondering whether's it's the face problem now.

Okay. Stop.

i'm not suppose to rant anymore on this topic. What i am suppose to do is to prepare for the worst ( hopefully i mean hopefully utar managed to turn out reliable). And i should focus those energy in finishing my current assignments and story. I have a story competition deadline to beat. I have assgmts deadline. I have mid terms. I have short film production.

But still, there's no harm in hoping for a miracle to happen. If i get it well i am extremely grateful, if i do not....well let's not get into that point. You dont want to know what i will become.

Seriously speaking, i dont feel like giving up. So let's keep my fingers cross and hopefully i would get it.

My latest target :

Is to be able to write about almost anything as in tvcs, movies, dramas, commercials, news and so on.