Towards a clear blue sky

i was wrong, i still am even now

i am wrong and i still am.
Without realizing it, i have already in the process of becoming who i hate.
I hope i can still stop these changes.
And become a whole new person within.
Last week make me realized what is wrong and what is still wrong.
Slowly, i know i can still make a difference.

Sit and calm down

I need to sit down and stay calm. Noooo, I'm not physically moving around. But i guess my emotions can say that much. It's like a whirlpool in there plus with the additional thunder and lightning and of course boundless worries. I feel like i have a washing machine fixed inside of my body.

(=_=)

Nah, I'm not pacing around the house worrying bout my mid term tomorrow. In fact, I'm more anxious of my internship. Yeah, yeah i know. I've been speaking of this issue for almost 2 weeks now. Cant really help it though. It stays and it's really really persistent and consistent.

I guess it's about time that i control myself a bit. Been getting more and more depressed each day. Can you imagine of sending out emails for a few days but there is no replies? Or that you friend actually send later than you and managed to get it first? I been wondering whether's it's the face problem now.

Okay. Stop.

i'm not suppose to rant anymore on this topic. What i am suppose to do is to prepare for the worst ( hopefully i mean hopefully utar managed to turn out reliable). And i should focus those energy in finishing my current assignments and story. I have a story competition deadline to beat. I have assgmts deadline. I have mid terms. I have short film production.

But still, there's no harm in hoping for a miracle to happen. If i get it well i am extremely grateful, if i do not....well let's not get into that point. You dont want to know what i will become.

Seriously speaking, i dont feel like giving up. So let's keep my fingers cross and hopefully i would get it.

My latest target :

Is to be able to write about almost anything as in tvcs, movies, dramas, commercials, news and so on.

Of insecurities and lack of confidence

How you ever wonder what's the difference between "you want to do it" and "what you can do"?

Recently, i been pondering of those kinda things. Don't ask me. I just don't know.

I'm worried.

I don't know what i am capable of seriously.

Communication wise. Not really good.

Graphics wise. Not good either.

Language. Average only.

Creativity. Depends on time and situation.

It all comes down to nothing?

Sigh~

Shall i participate or not?

hmmm.....

*ponders deeply*

Ponders....

Okay, after that disastrous japanese post, i have decided to stick to English instead. You see, the point for writing japanese is to practice using it so that i can confidently post something confidential on this blog. Somehow it didnt work out, as my sisters has miraclously found their way to read it by translating with dunno what.

(=_=)

So the plan to write in japanese failed apparently. I shall say no more.

***

I'm seriously waiting for short film to finish. After that hopefully everything is being cleared out. But that have to see whether everything goes well or not right?

And before that, let me get through crm first.

T.T