Chapter closed

Impromptu, persuasive, demonstrative speeches are all done now. I should be leaping with joy. But somehow i feel a bit nostalgic. Probably because of the involuntary flashback of the past.

I remembered when i had my first public speaking class. Nerdy, quiet and shy, i am one of those people who attended the lecture class with my first uni friends, Tracy and an Indian girl whose name i already forgotten (paiseh). Just like any freshmen, we sat in the front rows and attended our very first lecture class and meet our very first lecturer, Mr Kuru.

I still remembered my very first public speaking assignment where i fumbled frequently with my words and where nervousness almost killed me. It wasnt fun. It was stress like hell. And i wasnt really comfortable with my topic and yet i have to pull through because there's marks involved.

My second presentation was worst. It was perhaps the most horrible presentation in my experience so far. I didnt practice, wasnt ready, and read from my slides. Mr Kuru was not happy. And so was i. I felt extreme regret. Cant help but keep thinking that I should have done better.

But i was glad to be given a second chance although the fear of public speaking comes first. It wasnt easy as you are constantly reminded of your poor presentation the last time and at the same time trying your hardest to perfect it. I fumbled a lot during impromptu and make frequent pauses. And i had to have cough on that day. Funny, i remembered i had cough too during my very first speech in foundation.

Oh well, at least this time i managed to set things right and proper. And i was very happy that i survived this course. Not the half-heartedly survival but the full, satisfied, proud survival.

***

Another good news is taipoh is back in town. It's just not the same without the old lady. Days without the office cleaner make me feel incomplete. Finally, she's back. But that doesnt mean she be spared from the how-many-months-of-not-banging-her. Still, i just glad that she's back.

***

I had finally put a proper closure to the whole issue. I am still feeling rather sad but content. At least i managed to voice out my thoughts. And i really glad that he fully understands the whole situation now. Things will not be the same as before. But i believe things will be better from now on. Let time play its part.

For now, this chapter is closed.

As for tomorrow, another chapter will begin.

Yeah, it's time to move on

Maybe it's like that you said, it's time to change.

i know at times I'm being immature, ignorant and naive. Sometimes i don't realized i have done something wrong as well. And quite often I'll try to put the blame on someone or something else. I'm sorry for behaving this way. Because i feel that it is not easy to stand up and face yourself. A lot of courage is needed. And this is where sorry doesn't play a role at all. It all depends on you, your choice, to make a difference, to make a change and to make it better.

Even though I'm just going through the process of early adulthood, I am already feel it's hard to be an adult. So many decisions, responsibilities, commitments and burdens. Every choice comes with a price. And it's the price where you don't have a say in the value or amount.

Honestly speaking, it's difficult to grow up. And reality is cruel in some ways.

But i'll learn. Starting from now, taking one step at a time, i'll slowly learn to be an adult. I'll change to be a better person. And i hope the same for you.

Lastly, I don't regret that i made this decision. I'll carry this experience with me for life.

***

A large thank you to all my family and friends for the support and advices.

*bows*

Realization

I realized that I've been taking my language for granted.

I never truly understand how hard is it to..... (suddenly i forgot what I'm going to say =_=)

Anyway i got a feeling that if i don't step up, I'm just going to lose out.

***

Happie Birthday Daniel =)

***

Yeah, yeah i know it's an easy post so shut up.

LOL.