She and her.
Whenever i see them together, i feel like an outcast. Like I'm not allowed to step into their territory. Nor i can interfere with their relationship. So i pretend that i don't really care, pretend not knowing anything, pretend to be okay with it.
Cause what's the point of me having to know about all these things? Is not like they will share it with me. What they know of, i don't know. What i know of, they don't.
She.
I don't really know much about her. Because the gap between us is too great. By the time, i entered primary school, she was already in secondary school. By the time i entered secondary school she was already graduating. So in truth, i don't really know her that well. All i know that she cries easily.
Her.
Her gap is smaller compared to she. So therefore, i feel as thought i'm closer to her. Her grades are good and she always have a lot of friends. I bet she always finds me a nuisance because i always trouble her, getting her late to school or a function.
But she and her always get along well. As far as i see, there is no argument or slight disagreement between them. Even if there is, it is just like a joke between them. Whenever they are together they are laughter and smiling faces. Whenever i'm with them, i just didn't feel right. It was as though i am not meant to be there. They have a lot of friends that both of them knows but i know only a slightest bit of their friends. That is if i did follow them out though.
They can always make my mother laugh while i made her cry and stuff. They can always make her happy while i made her frown. They can always make the situation more cheerful and relaxed while i always made it tense.
During annual dinner, people will often ask them about medicine and health problems while i be just a decoration in that event.
Most people remembers their names, but they forgotten mine.
My mum said something to me which i believe she will never say it to them.
I don't deny that I'm envy, jealous and sometimes hates them because no matter what i do, i just cant be better than them. I'm trying to catch up with them but it seems like it's not possible at all. I'm angry and hate myself for being so forgettable. Can someone explain to me why is it always like that? Why am i like that?
oh shit, i'm losing it...
can someone help me please?
Better late than never
5 years ago
5 Boos:
Dearie, please don't feel that way. Sometimes it's just harder if the gap is wider. But that doesn't mean it cannot work. Maybe it's just personality but I do know that both she and her cares about you.
They did think about you & whether you wanted dinner when I went out with them 2 weeks ago. That's concern.
We are all individuals. All of us are different. I do think that my bro makes my family/relatives laugh more easily than I can too. But what can I do? We try, we improve and that's what matters. Don't beat yourself about this. I'm sure you're more than loved. Maybe it's just not expressed the same way :)
k? MUACKS!! :)
dearest quirky,
i don't really know what I'm suppose to say but thanks for your advice and concern.
Everything is good now.
Have a nice day =)
erm..dun compare
everyone is special ,dun look down yourself.
Quit comparing yourself with others. You are you. Every 0ne has their strengths and weaknesses. W#hat are your strengths? Have you figured that out? Maybe it's time for you to get out of that self-introspection mode and start looking at the world through more objective lenses than through lenses coloured by your own emotions of self-doubt.
Thanks L
but may i know who are you?
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