i have mood swings. Frequently.

Yeap. As the title said, i have mood swings. Lots of them. Anytime. Anywhere.

Sometimes i feel annoyed, sometimes i feel naughty, sometimes i feel moody, sometimes i feel no mood, sometimes i am angry, sometimes i am happy, sometimes i feel relaxed and sometimes, just some of those times, i prefer to be left alone.

All this can happen in one day or can even last through the week itself. And that was intensified if it's that time of the month again. It all depends on what was said, done and happen. Occasionally it could be the environment or weather. At times it could be the surroundings. Sometimes nothing is done and i still have mood swings.

That is why my mood is pretty unpredictable. I could be smiling at you for a minute, the next second i could be barking at you like a mad dog.

*sigh*

I'm feeling all gloomy again.


This blog is written for myself. It's not easy to open up and write, knowing that there will people who are reading it. And sometimes I'm grateful that there are people who read and then didn't ask any questions about it. I like my privacy. Seriously. If there is something i would like to tell you, i would. Thank you.

The long road of uncertainty

I have no idea why i suddenly feel so emotional.

Am i ready for this?

Will i able to handle it?

Maybe...it's like what he said...

I think too much

Terrification

Again, another word added in the collection of booboo's most bizarre-weird-combination English words collection.

***

My heart is beating fast. My hands are sweaty and my head is filled with doubts. My emotions are wavered and i just cant wait for the day to be over tomorrow.

Will i manage to do well?

What if i forgot the points?

What if i just gaped like a fish?

What if my points arent good?

What if i couldnt START at all?

What if i get stuck halfway?

What if...

So many what ifs....so little assurance.

I think i should stopped complaining and get back to practice.

No point worrying bout the inevitable.

Practice girl, practice.....

hypocontradicting

Again, i know there is no such word. This is just something i made up. In case you're wondering what the hell does it mean, it's actually

hypocrite + contradicting = hypocontradicting.

It pretty sums up what I've been doing now. Okay, i mean even before that. I think 99% of it serves me right because i tend to always say the opposite and now i can only say 2 words to myself which are :

padan muka

Karma people, karma.

It really happens.

Now it's karma-hypocontradicting.

*Sigh*

T_T

The blues

Note : you can choose not to read on because i think it's pretty irrelevant. So why the post? My hands are just really itchy to write something. So that's why crap posts are born =D

***

I've been feeling blue since last night to be exact.
Is it because of the weather?
Perhaps it's that time of the month again?
Probably because i'm not that happy in the first place?
So many unanswered questions.

***

It's been raining for almost everyday already.
And it's usually at very bad times.
How i wish everytime it rains, i can be at home, doing something that i like.
Not going for horrible lectures and finishing early.
Dont get me wrong.
I dont mind finishing early.
It's just that taking public transport home makes you feel troublesome.
I'll be hardworking if someone can fetch me from uni also.

***

I guess feeling blue does give you a better perspective of things.
Your mood can be controlled and you feel the emptiness.
How do i put this?
It feels like you're detach from something.
And with this feeling you will look at matters from a neutral perspective.

***

In a way, i'm glad that i'm still feeling the blues.
At least i maintain some old habits of mine.
Which i think it's good in my opinion.
When you are feeling down, it doesnt necessary mean you failed something. Sometimes, it's just an motivation to make you move on.
And i guess in this situation, it played its role.